Overwhelmed

It's been a while. I guess. So many good and bad things have happened.. and so I'm kind of just neutral right now. This whole week has been filled with.. a whirlwind of events. And now I realize my May has gotten a whole lot busier because there's only about a month of school left..

Anyways, on April 28, Tuesday, I believe, I received my letter from YFU, informing me I had won the Okinawa Peace Scholarship. It was the best moment. Ever. I've been milling over the idea of me in Japan.. for a whole summer. It's sad that I didn't get the full scholarship, but, beggars can't be choosers, now, can they? I really appreciate the fact that I won a scholarship at all. It's amazing. I haven't got any information on my Host Family yet. Oh yes, for the sake of censoring.. haha.. censoring.. Anyways, I'm making a new blog for my homestay in Japan, so that my regular blog stays just that. Regular. [Link]

As soon as I got the letter though, my mom just.. all of a sudden decided she wanted to talk to me about future careers that I may end up wanting to go for. Immediately, she commented, "When you go over to Japan, you'll see how expensive it is, and so why don't you start thinking a bout a job that will make you a lot of money?" And she really said it in a condescending tone. I do not like it when people try to tell me what to do with my life. I know my mom means well, and she wants me to grow up with a good, stable job, living a good life, but honestly, if I wanted to be some starving artist on the street then, goddammit, that's what I'm going to be. My mom just doesn't understand that I want to choose my own way, and that choosing a career means choosing the job you're going to wake up to every morning for the rest of your life. Even when I try to explain this to her, she brushes it away, saying that "Fun isn't everything." I don't want to go to a job I hate every day and go home bitter and angry.

Enough about my mom, I now have to deal with this constantly until I leave for Japan. If I'm leaving at all. The partial scholarship only covered two-thirds of the cost of the trip, so now my parents have to pay $2000 for me to go. It's certainly a lot, and to be honest, I don't know if my parents can afford to pay that money for me to go. We'll see I guess. Payment is due in about a week, and so I'll see if I make the deadline...

School has been okay. As okay as school can get anyways. Now with the Swine Flu going around, everybody's been extra cautious with a lot of things. We had STAR testing all week long this week, and next week I'll have to start thinking about AP testing. God, so many things going on. I also have a 2000 point project that was assigned to me in History class. I now refer to it as my "fucking project" because my stupid teacher assigned us groups. I don't even work well with members in my group. Goddammit, if it isn't bad enough, I'm borderline A- in his stupid class, and this project will either make or break my grade. It's 30% of our semester grade, and we only have a month. One month. To get it together, and do all this other shit that needs to be done with the project. I feel like bashing my head in. I hate him. I hate my history teacher. I seriously do.

In other news, now that it's May, I have Fanime to look forward to, but in the end, I might end up worrying about my fucking project to have any fun at the con. And what with Swine Flu going around.. and the threat of contracting the virus from a bunch of strangers who are going to be breathing the same air I'm breathing is kind of.. unnerving. I also need to finish my cosplay up if I want to go.. Yeah.. I really need to finish. Twenty days may seem like a lot, but in all honesty..? It's not. And my stupid skirt that I'm working on is just bugging the hell out of me. I've ironed the pleats on that thing at least 4 times. Each time did not look good, which meant me ironing the pleats out, and then trying to iron some better pleats in. It takes me at least a half hour to an hour to iron the goddamn pleats out, and at least the same amount of time to iron new pleats in. This sucks.

Yeah. I guess that's about it for now. I'm going to need counseling after this month is over. It's so busy, I think I'm going to need a planner or SOMETHING to keep me on track. Schools almost over. AP testing. The fucking project is due in a month. Fanime. Preparing for my trip to Japan. Taking my finals early because I leave before school lets out. Damn. It's going to be a long month. FML.